When Kobie Pretorius arrived in Nashville in 1996, she thought it would be a four-year adventure.
Her husband had been accepted into a residency in anaesthesiology at Vanderbilt University, and she left her practice as a speech-language pathologist in South Africa to join him. The plan was straightforward… Complete the residency and then return home, she says.
But life, as it often does, had other ideas.
“One thing led to another, and here we are, celebrating our 30th year in Nashville… Two kids, two dogs and 20 chickens later!”
Her husband is now part of Vanderbilt’s renowned cardio-thoracic surgery team, which performs more heart transplants than any other in the world, a fact Kobie shares with pride.
Sport has always been a big part of Kobie’s life. A former junior tennis player who represented the University of Pretoria, she earned her professional coaching certifications after moving to Nashville. For three decades, she’s been coaching and competing on the city’s courts. Today, she teaches at the University School of Nashville and Harpeth Hall.
“This year, I was selected to represent Tennessee in the Senior Cup (ages 55 to 65), and our team went on to win the entire competition against all nine Southern states,” she says.
With their children now grown and finding their way in the world, Kobie and her husband are enjoying a full and active life in Music City. But her greatest legacy is not on the tennis court, it’s in the community she has helped build.
A cup of comfort: the birth of ‘Tannies’ Tee’
For nearly three decades, the Nashville ‘Tannies’ have been gathering over tea, laughter and conversation.
What began as a few friends meeting with their babies in the late 1990s has evolved into a warm and enduring tradition.
“By around 2000, we began meeting monthly,” Kobie explains. “This was before email, Facebook, or WhatsApp. We’d pick up the phone, mail invitations or jokingly ‘kidnap’ anyone we met with a South African accent.”
Today, with the help of social media and WhatsApp, the group meets on the last Wednesday of every month (except November and December), hosted by volunteers who open their homes in Nashville. “It’s more personal than meeting in a restaurant,” Kobie says.
Each tea is unique and enjoyed by a mix of newcomers, regulars, visiting parents, young mums and au pairs.
“It’s a true multi-generational affair where acquaintances become friends, and friends become family,” says Kobie.
A haven far from home
Kobie is quick to point out that Tannies’ Tee isn’t about recreating South Africa in Nashville.
“We’re not trying to recreate home,” she says. “It’s about providing a space where people can recharge when they’re homesick, stressed about immigration or visas, or worried about elderly parents back home. It’s a place where you can find comfort, whether it’s milk tart on the table or a warm cup of rooibos in your hand.”
The gatherings offer both practical and emotional support. “Many newcomers enjoy learning where to find familiar foods like chutney, Durban spices, biltong or meat pies. But more than that, it’s about human connection – the hugs, the shared laughter, the tears and the stories,” she says.
Even after decades abroad, Kobie acknowledges that some challenges never go away, especially missing family celebrations or caring for parents from afar. “That’s when the ‘Tannies step in… When the going gets tough.”
Building community beyond the teacup
The Tannies’ Tee is just one part of Kobie’s mission to build community among South Africans in Middle Tennessee. “If we can make the landing softer for even one family, we’ve succeeded,” she says.
Alongside the monthly teas, Friends of South Africa Nashville hosts a full calendar of events, including a spring braai (March/April), Music Night (May), Pool Party (summer), Fall Braai (September/October) and Christmas Party (December).
The group also joins local events, such as the Nashville Dragon Boat Races, stream clean-ups, pickleball days and rugby watch parties at The Lost Paddy.
“The very first Friends of South Africa Nashville event was organised in 1995 by Lynne Siesser after the historic Rugby World Cup win,” Kobie says. “Today, many wonderful volunteers keep things going, such as Suzanne van Heerden, who organises rugby gatherings, and Simone Meyerowitz, who hosts our pool party. These are not fundraisers, but friend-raisers, and I hope to keep it that way.”
Staying rooted while growing abroad
What does Kobie miss most about South Africa? “My people,” she says. “Technology, such as FaceTime, makes it easier than it was 30 years ago, but I still treasure our annual visits home, where we spend time hugging and reconnecting with those we love most.”
When she’s not hosting events or coaching tennis, her days are filled with activity. “Between tennis, pickleball, golf, walking my dog, tending chickens and growing veggies (often just for the squirrels and birds!), life is full, and I like it that way.”
The South African community keeps her busy too. “Someone always needs advice, a referral, or just a friendly chat. Living in Music City also means plenty of concerts, especially those featuring South African artists, such as Cindy Alter, Sarah Bonsignore and Roan Ash.”
She also works closely with the South African Consulate in New York, which she says has been supportive of her community efforts.
The heart of it all
For Kobie, the most rewarding part of her journey has been watching others thrive. “Hearing success stories and seeing people integrate, thrive and build happy lives here in Tennessee is what fills me with joy.”
Her advice to South Africans moving to or living in the US is simple: “Get involved. Take the first step. Be the one to reach out. Come find us… We’re here, waiting for you with open arms and open hearts.”
And as for her hopes for the future of Tannies Tee and the wider South African community in the US, she leaves us with her favourite quote by Desmond Tutu: “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
